Weekly Update: August 4 to 10

I know I've been kind of sketchy with these updates lately and I'm sorry about that.  I've been struggling and it's been a very intense few months of dealing with personal things, plus the injury, and frankly, feeling as if my creative energy has been drained out of me.

But, if I dare tempt fate by saying so, things seem to have turned a corner.

I wrote 6145 words last week.  The most progress I've made in a long, long time.  The writing felt the way it used to feel, as if I were just transcribing something from some place inside my head where the book is already perfectly written.

But on the personal side, I've made some progress as well.  One of the things I haven't been able to share is that I've been going through a separation.  It's been an emotionally draining and unexpectedly expensive process, and one that took a lot longer than I was expecting.  It's hit me in my confidence as well.  How can I write about happily ever afters when my own marriage was on critical?

It's taken me awhile to realize that it's because I believe in happily ever afters that I can't let myself be held back in a relationship that frankly hasn't worked in awhile.  I've reached the point where I can honestly say that my ex-husband isn't a bad person, but we're just not a good match in terms of our expectations and needs.  Things are actually far more amicable between us now that we're no longer romantically entangled.

My focus has been on supporting my children through this process.  They didn't get a vote on it, but I want to make sure they never have cause to doubt how much they are loved and that their well-being is our highest priority.

I'm not sure what's going to happen now.  I never expected to be facing a new world of possibilities in my mid-forties.  But I'm glad that I am giving myself permission to take a gamble on gaining the kind of happiness that we're all entitled to in life.  Even if it doesn't happen, I made the right choice to bet on hope rather than settling for quiet despair.

I'm sure there are more bumps to come in the road.  I will probably be slower than I'd hoped in putting out my next few books.  But even if I slow down, I'm not going anywhere.

Thank you to all of you who have stuck by me.  It means more than you can imagine.