Trying Something New - Audiobooks

 This week, for the first time in a very long time, I actually managed to do some writing on the second Special Investigations book.  It took just about every anti-writers-block trick in my repetoire (writing fan fiction to jumpstart my creativity, giving myself a block of several hours without my kids, outlining, brainstorming, reviewing previous chapters, etc) and it wasn't a ton of words but it was something.

But the thing I'm actually excited about is that I'm moving toward something I've wanted to do for a really long time: getting my books out in audio.

I've set up a recording booth in my closet and I've given a shot at narrating the first few chapters.  It's been more of a challenge than I expected and I thought I'd share a little bit of the process.

First, I need to shout out a big thank you to my brother-in-law, Ned, who is an incredibly talented voice actor.  He gave me some good advice on performance and setting up my own in-home studio in an affordable way.  Specifically, using duvets as anti-sound reflectors instead of having to buy fancy padded foam inserts.  And using a touch screen to scroll through the text so that there are no sounds of rustling papers and button clicking on the recording.

I got myself a microphone and blithely began recording.  I knew I had a tendency for clumsy tongue stumbling, so I knew I'd have to re-record sections regularly.  One suggestion was to make sure to leave a significant blank (3 seconds) before starting again so that the gap would be easily identifiable when editing.  That worked better than I'd expected, so I'd highly recommend it to anyone wanting to give this a try themselves.

I'd recorded ten chapters and was feeling pretty pleased with myself when I realized that I'd misread the technical requirements that Findaway needs for audio recordings.  All of my recordings were far too quiet.

O-kay.  Disappointing but not crushing.  Until I realized that my fancy new microphone's levels were maxed out.  The only way I could meet the volume requirements was to have my mouth right next to the microphone, which introduced me to the wonderful new world of plosives.

Plosives are sounds that include a rush of air (b, p, t, etc.).  Put your hand in front of your mouth and you'll feel the exhalation as you say them.  When you say them directly in front of a microphone, you get a staticy-pop from the air hitting the surface.  Incidentally, this is why most microphones have a foam cover and vocalists usually have a pop filter (a nylon screen) in front of the microphone as well.

I was caught in a bind: to get the volume I needed, I had a plosive problem.  If I used the pop filter and foam cover to reduce the plosives, the recording was too quiet.

Well, crap.  I spent weeks testing different placements and combinations.  None worked.  So I needed to find a new microphone option.

Luckily, I found one: my son's gamer headset.  I could place the microphone just below my mouth, which let the plosive rush of air pass over it instead of hitting it.  I tried recording the first two chapters again and they met the technical requirements.  Yay, success!

Next challenges: editing the chapters to send them to my beta listeners and figuring out times when it will be reliably quiet to do more recordings.  (The duvets are great at preventing echoes and closed doors do a lot to subdue household sounds, but they will not stop the sound of a couple of excited kids shouting at their screens.  Voice of experience, trust me.)

It takes me about half an hour to record a chapter.  The actual chapter is about 8-12 minutes but I end up having to repeat a lot to get a good recording.  There are 45 chapters to record in the first book, so this is going to take awhile.  I can't record more than 1-2 chapters in a day or more than 5 in a week without stressing my voice.

But it's a start.  And it's helping my mood, since I feel like I'm making progress on something career related.  There will probably be more breaks because that's how life works with depression, but I'm going to keep plowing forward.

I'm Not Okay (And That's Okay)

As may be guessed from the extended silence on this blog since March, things haven't been going well.  I'm giving myself permission to admit that I'm not okay and I haven't been okay for awhile.

My life was difficult even before the COVID pandemic hit.  I often felt as if I were standing on a slowly submerging platform, holding heavy weights of responsibilities.  There were many times when the best I felt I could hope for was that I could keep my children afloat while I slowly drowned.  I was dealing with depression, engaged in a war of attrition with my local school board to give my 16yo the supports he needed (a battle that had already lasted 5 years as of September 2019), watching my 20 year marriage dissolve and facing financial and personal insecurity, and also deal with the usual challenges of raising teenagers, paying bills, and, oh yeah, writing books.

With COVID, I suddenly found myself unemployed and trying to manage four people sharing a house (including my ex-husband, which is a whole other area of stress and challenge).  I became a teacher, a peacekeeper (in the military sense, guarding borders to keep my two kids from launching attacks on one another), a therapist, and an activities coordinator.  Almost everything that we relied on for engagement for my older son was suddenly off-limits (no bus rides, no trips to ride cool elevators, and no swimming in public pools).  My youngest was worried about the world in general and needed reassurance that this was not the beginning of the End Times while also getting recognition that his feelings were important and shouldn't be denied (my parental attempt to assure I don't pass on the requirement for a Pollyanna mask that I was required to wear as a child).

Like many people, I also found myself responsible for managing my parents.  I recently saw a meme which introduced a child as the "emotional support daughter" and that was the role I found myself in, listening to frustrations from both of them.  (I have at least learned not to attempt to provide solutions or suggestions for the most part, which often created greater conflict in the past.)  They were intensely social before the pandemic and while they recognized the seriousness of what happened, they were lonely and needed social support.

As "March Break" stretched from one week to three to the rest of the school year, I found myself becoming physically and emotionally exhausted.  My creativity crashed and I was so tired that I was often sleeping more than 14 hours a day.  I couldn't watch television or movies.  I couldn't read books.  Everything seemed impossibly difficult.

I reached out for help and began working with my doctor and a therapist to adjust my medications and thinking.  I began rewatching and rereading old favourites and discovered that much of my anxiety around consuming stories was centered around **new** stories where I didn't know what was going to happen.  With stuff I'd already seen and read, I could get the necessary mental escape but didn't have the underlying anxiety of wondering if I was going to hit something that would plunge me into a bad mental space.

I tried different creative outlets, painting and sewing.  I changed my daily meditation from sitting quietly to listening to music and letting my thoughts wander.  I wrote fan fiction, bringing me back to the fandoms and universes that I've always loved and found inspiring.

Those things all helped.  But I'm still in a fragile place and one of the biggest things I need to be careful of is my twin lifelong tendencies to refuse to admit that anything is wrong and to push ahead beyond my limits.  (Yay, history of Perfectionism!)  This post is my way of not falling into that trap.

There are a lot of things that are still wrong.  There are many days when I feel completely invisible, like a machine that runs the household rather than a person.  I desperately miss having a sense of romantic and emotional attachment with another person, of being important to someone else.  (Not to dash the hopes of any second-chance-romance fans out there, but that connection died a long time ago with me and my ex-husband.)  I am faced with the reality that I will be caring for my oldest child for the rest of my life, and given how the autism support structure has been gutted in Ontario, there is little to no chance of ever being able to live solely for myself at any time in the future.  I'm worried about money and being able support myself and my children.  I'm terrified about the state of the world and the ugliness that seems to be swallowing our hopes faster than we can ignite them.

In being open about the challenges I'm facing, I'm hoping that my readers will understand and be patient with the fact that for the foreseeable future, I will be quieter and less productive than I have been in the past.  It isn't because I don't want to share the stories which still linger in my head, because I do.  I still love my characters and their adventures.  I want them all to have their happily ever afters.

I know many of you are facing similar (and sometimes worse) challenges and are looking for your own mental escape into a world where we know that no matter how bad things seem at the moment, our dreams will always win.  I don't have the same faith that we live in that world anymore, but I do still believe in creating a world where that happens.  If it needs to be fiction for now, so be it.  Maybe we'll find our way into making it real eventually.

Meanwhile, it's okay to not be okay.  It's okay to admit it.  It's okay to ask for help.  We don't need to be strong and risk breaking.  Individual strands can carry more when they're braided together.  We can all be not okay together, giving ourselves room to be angry, upset, and all the other feelings that we should feel when things aren't okay.

I'm not okay.  And if you're not okay, either, then that's okay.  Okay?

Weekly Update: March 29 to April 4

Weekly Word Count: 3328

It feels very good to have the words flowing again.  I figured out the issue with the scene I was trying to write and now the plot is moving forward.  I was able to kickstart my creative brain with fanfic (Mandalorian for the curious).

My kids and I have settled into a routine.  I've still got a lot of worries and I'm trying very hard not to think about the future.  I miss my friends terribly but I'd never forgive myself if I ended up being a link in a chain that got people sick.

Last week's Tarot reading had Temperance (moderation) for the past, the nine of coins (self-reliance) for the present and the ten of wands (burden of success) for the future.  Last week worked because I didn't try to push myself to do too much (moderation), I made certain that I could take care of what needed to be done (self-reliance), and then I found myself managing on my own (the burden of success).  Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but it seems to fit.

This week's reading is the ace of swords for the past, which advises strength in conflict and the beginning of an intellectual enterprise.  The present was the page of cups, which symbolizes emotional rebirth.  And for the future, I drew the eight of coins, reversed, which advises the card reader to review their career and chosen work.  That last one is not reassuring for someone who has been laid off from their day job.  Since I work for a small company, one of the unpleasant realities I have to think about is that the company owner may decide not to restart it once the threat of the pandemic is over.

I started my online human resource management course last week, which matches with the ace of swords.  Since it was already set up, my employer said I could go ahead with it even though I've been laid off.  I'd planned to gradually earn my credentials over the next few years, but maybe I should consider a more accelerated program.  I won't make any decisions now.  The situation is still too fluid and unpredictable.

I've been struggling, but things seem much clearer now.  I feel more capable of dealing with what the future is throwing at me.  So maybe that's my emotional rebirth.

Either way, at least I'm writing again.

Weekly Update: March 22 to 28

No writing last week but I did get Division finished and sent in for line edits.

I tried writing but was having real trouble.  I wasn't sure if it was due to a plot problem, stress or the distraction of having the kids home and having to serve as homeschool teacher, not to mention trying to do some day job work each day.

I did my usual check to see if the issue is with a project or with me.  I tried some fanfic writing and I was having a lot more trouble than usual with that, too.  Which tells me that I need to be gentle with myself and recognize the difficulties I'm having.

On Friday, I got my official lay off due to lack of work (in turn due to the necessity of socially isolating).  So the day job is gone until we're not having to restrict ourselves at home any more.  Very relieved to be in Canada, where the government is giving decent support to those of us facing this situation.

I didn't do a tarot draw last week, but I did one for this week.  I drew Temperance for the past, which indicates moderation and blending.  For the present, I drew the nine of coins which indicates self-reliance and financial security.  (Side note: I was going to be the nine of coins in a living tarot deck photoshoot that a friend of mine was putting together.  I had a costume all ready and everything.  But the shoot never happened and neither did the deck.  Ah well, opportunity lost.)  Back to this week's draw.  The future was the ten of staffs, the burden of success.

There has certainly been a lot of blending over the last week, trying to balance different roles in my life, the needs of my family and those of greater society, and the challenge of having four people stuck in a house together day in and day out.  I'm choosing to be a little reassured by the nine of coins, because I'm not feeling particularly financially secure right now.  And the ten of staffs makes sense as well, since part of the challenge right now is that fact that I have been able to do a lot of things with very little support and now people are expecting that I can continue to do it, when I don't know if I can.

I guess we'll find out.

Weekly Update: August 4 to 10

I know I've been kind of sketchy with these updates lately and I'm sorry about that.  I've been struggling and it's been a very intense few months of dealing with personal things, plus the injury, and frankly, feeling as if my creative energy has been drained out of me.

But, if I dare tempt fate by saying so, things seem to have turned a corner.

I wrote 6145 words last week.  The most progress I've made in a long, long time.  The writing felt the way it used to feel, as if I were just transcribing something from some place inside my head where the book is already perfectly written.

But on the personal side, I've made some progress as well.  One of the things I haven't been able to share is that I've been going through a separation.  It's been an emotionally draining and unexpectedly expensive process, and one that took a lot longer than I was expecting.  It's hit me in my confidence as well.  How can I write about happily ever afters when my own marriage was on critical?

It's taken me awhile to realize that it's because I believe in happily ever afters that I can't let myself be held back in a relationship that frankly hasn't worked in awhile.  I've reached the point where I can honestly say that my ex-husband isn't a bad person, but we're just not a good match in terms of our expectations and needs.  Things are actually far more amicable between us now that we're no longer romantically entangled.

My focus has been on supporting my children through this process.  They didn't get a vote on it, but I want to make sure they never have cause to doubt how much they are loved and that their well-being is our highest priority.

I'm not sure what's going to happen now.  I never expected to be facing a new world of possibilities in my mid-forties.  But I'm glad that I am giving myself permission to take a gamble on gaining the kind of happiness that we're all entitled to in life.  Even if it doesn't happen, I made the right choice to bet on hope rather than settling for quiet despair.

I'm sure there are more bumps to come in the road.  I will probably be slower than I'd hoped in putting out my next few books.  But even if I slow down, I'm not going anywhere.

Thank you to all of you who have stuck by me.  It means more than you can imagine.

Breaking Writer's Block

There is nothing more frustrating to an author than when the words on the page just aren't flowing.  Whether the page is staying blank or progress feels like we're struggling across a gravel slope, it can be disheartening to be the one wooing the creative muse.

However, there are techniques that can help.  Here are the ones I've found helpful.

Is it a problem with the story or something external?

Lots of things can affect creative output.  Depression, stress, and a number of other health and life problems will cut down word counts.  So my first step is to figure out if something external is to blame.  I've found the best way to do that is to take a break from my WIP and try something else.  If I can dash off 2k words of fan fic or chasing a plot bunny, then the problem isn't with me, it's the story.

Where is the problem with the story?

The vast majority of the time, when I'm having trouble with a story, it's because there's a plot hole or a faulty character arc or plot line.  Sometimes I can pin down where it is fairly quickly and sometimes it takes some work.  I generally find the best way to find it is to either write out my plot by hand or talk to someone.  Writing by hand uses a different part of the brain than typing, so the switch can let me see things from a different angle.

After that comes the hard part.

Sometimes we have to sacrifice the best bits.

Sometimes I really want to include a scene, or a moment, or a character.  But sometimes they're just not working in a particular story.  They're slowing it down or making things too complicated, or require narrative convenience to make them work.  It's heartbreaking to let them go, but I tuck them into the "use it later" folder on my computer.

This isn't exactly "kill your darlings" advice, it's "be willing to do what's best for the story" advice.  There will be other stories where your darlings can thrive and get the best possible versions of themselves. 

Sometimes this means substantial rewrites and if that's the case, then that's something else that we need to be willing to do.  Even if it means a book is delayed, it's better to have a book delayed and then be good than to put out something flawed.

Dealing with writer's block is one of the things I think of when people tell me that they think writing is easy.  Writing can be easy, when everything is going well.  But when it's not, that's what separates professional authors from enthusiastic amateurs.  Professionals do the work that isn't as much fun, that can be tedious and difficult.  But they do it because they're driven to do it.  And that's what makes it special.

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Weekly Update: April 1 to 7

Word count: 4620

Most of those words happened on Sunday, Monday and Saturday.  The middle of the week was a complete wash.  Life knocked me down and I had to get my feet back under me before I could move forward.

I've been looking at my deadline to get this manuscript done and it's hit me that it's taken me three months to write the first 30 000 words.  Usually my books are between 90 000 and 120 000 words, so that's a lot of words still to go at the half-way point.  I'm trying to keep myself rational by reminding myself there was a lot of other stuff going on, too.  Like editing and life crises.  

But it still means that I'm going to have to buckle down if I want to have this manuscript ready for mid-July.  

Thanks to everyone who gave me their support.  I'm trying to combat my own perfectionism and failure-phobia by being honest about my struggles so that I can remind myself that they are not insurmountable.

Weekly Update: February 11 to 17

Weekly word count: 500

Chapters edited: 12 of 45

This week ended up being a self-care week.  And not as in an "I'm on holiday and having too wonderful a time to worry about work" kind of way.  More like a "I'm on holiday but I've got a lot of upset, angry people to manage plus deal with my own kids" kind of way.  It's been an incredibly stressful week and there has been no opportunity for the break I would need to be able to cope.  So in order to stretch my coping abilities, I made the very hard decision to put aside my hopes of writing early on in the week and about halfway through I realized I also needed to stop editing if I wanted to have a shot of making it back home reasonably intact.

I'm glad my kids have had a good time (with some speedbump/tantrum fits along the way).  They've gotten a good dose of Disney magic and there have been some delighted smiles and laughter.  But it is a lot of work to make that happen and the vast majority of that has fallen on my shoulders and been made more difficult by the extended family who is vacationing with us.

I'm emotionally and mentally exhausted right now.  I want to crawl into a hole and cry and sleep and not come out for a very long time.  But that's not a luxury that I have, not now and not when we're home.  I've prided myself on being able to work through such things, but I'm also smart enough to know when I'm done.  And for now, I'm done.

Weekly Update: June 18 to 24

Weekly word count: 2400

I had a couple of days where the words just weren't flowing, so I went back to my basic principles: conflict, character and pacing.  (I wish I had another C word to make the whole thing pop, but this is how it actually works.)

Step 1: Review my conflicts: By "conflicts" I mean the challenges to the hero and heroine in the plot.  If a conflict is fuzzy in my mind, then it doesn't translate well onto the page.  Or sometimes I've been focusing too much on one conflict and I've let other conflicts drop out.

Step 2: Review my characters: I have multiple points of view in my novels, usually the hero, heroine, villain and sometimes, a prominent secondary character.  If the words are drying up, sometimes it's because I need to switch to a new point of view and build up tension in their plotline.

Step 3: Check the pacing: As someone who always wonders what happened in the scene break, I have a bad habit of extending scenes and sequences.  So I check myself and ask if the scene I'm writing has fulfilled its purpose, making it possible to skip to the next stage.

Those three steps are usually enough to get me jump started again.  But I always have to resist the temptation to spend my writing time wallowing in self-doubt and procrastination.  Once I settle in and do the work, I can usually move forward but there's always a part of me which thinks this time will be different.

Other than writing, it was a nice week.  I enjoyed the quiet of not having the kids at home... something that will change at the end of this week.  I got to visit with some ORWA ladies at the Author's Lounge, including SM McEachern, who dropped in from Vancouver.  It's going to be interesting to see how this week plays out, being the last week of school and then into the summer, which is usually a time of lower production for me.  But I will prevail!

Weekly Update: November 6 to 12

Weekly word count: 3100

Editing countdown: 7 chapters edited this week, 37 total done, 10 to go, 3 weeks to go

I pushed myself a lot this week because I know next week is going to be very busy for me.  There's already one day where I know I won't be able to edit at all and three more where it's going to be a challenge.  I don't want to fall too far behind my deadline but it's nice to have the end in sight.  Also nice that the deeper I get into the manuscript, the fewer changes are necessary.  Mostly I'm having to do minor tweaks and seeing comments of enjoyment from the editor.

I also went through a bit of a confidence crisis for my new manuscript.  When I begin a manuscript, I usually give myself the first ten chapters as a pantser rather than a plotter.  I know roughly where I want to go for my main plot and the romance plot, but discovering the other subplots is the fun part.  This time, about halfway through chapter six, I hit a roadblock and had no idea where I wanted to go next.

I took 3 days to recover and research and get my head back in order.

I went back and I'm rewriting the first chapters with a much stronger setup.  I like where this story is going and it's giving me an opportunity to explore some new territory.  I've done 2 days of writing 1500 words each in a very short period.  To feel the words flow so smoothly is a great feeling.

I've been doing some thinking about the monthly Heroine Fix feature.  I've been paying for Facebook ads to get some publicity for it each month since July and I'm not seeing a big boost in people coming to my blog page.  Originally I planned to try it for six months, which gives me another two months, so perhaps I ought to just keep going and see if the numbers build.  Promotion is not my area of expertise and it's not an intuitive skill for me, so I'm just trying different options to see what works.

That was one message which came through loud and clear in Eve's workshop last week.  No one has a guaranteed path to promotion success anymore.  Any tactic with the slightest success quickly become saturated and useless, leaving authors with the choice of trying to shout in a crowd or try a wide variety of different options and hope to stumble on something new.

Weekly Update: June 12 to 18

Weekly word count: 2300

I hit a real wall this week, personally and professionally.  After some careful introspection and consideration, I realized I had two problems.  First, I've been driving myself too hard and in too many directions, trying to get everything done without having to ask for help.  (I realized I forgot to promote last week's blog post, it just completely slipped my mind.)  But as I recently reminded a friend, "help" isn't a four letter word.  It's not a sign of weakness.  I've sat down and figured out my priorities to make sure I can still meet all my commitments, but where I can, I'll be asking for help.

Second issue, I've been trying to push myself to finish the first draft of Inquisition rather than getting caught in a constant cycle of rewriting.  I've been making notes in the manuscript as I go along about what I want to change so that I can do one big rewrite when I reach the end.  Or at least, that was the plan.

Stories always evolve for me.  I plot out where I want to go but in the process, I discover the details that make my characters into real people and add depth to my plot.  I've learned not to get too bogged down in pre-plotting because I will invariably find myself covering entirely new territory from what I expected.  I think this is good and necessary part of my writing process.  But it does mean I can get caught up in constant rewriting to make the beginning match the end.

However, in this case, I think I've gone too far.  I don't have the solid foundation I need to make the ending.  So I spent the last few days in the week mapping out my plot (My draft is about 3/4 done, so there aren't a lot of unknowns left).  Then I'm going to go back and rewrite the beginning to make everything consistent.  Then I'll write the final part of the book.

I definitely won't have it all done in the next three weeks, like I was hoping.  But I think I still have a good shot at having the draft done by August to send out to beta readers and start booking editing.  (And order my cover, my favourite part of finishing my first draft.)

As my little blue friend says: Just keep swimming.  (Or in this case, writing)

Weekly Update: June 5 to 11

Weekly word count: 5900

I'd been struggling for awhile and decided to go back two chapters.  That was the last place I'd felt things were moving easily.  I spent a day deciding how to rearrange things to still hit my critical plot points.  After that, the words came much easier, so I think it was the right decision.

There's three weeks left of school and then the disruptions of summer begin.  Hopefully this change will continue to keep things moving quickly and Inquisition won't be further delayed.

It's been a bit of difficult week for me aside from the writing challenges.  I've been disappointed in how one of the organizers for Prose in the Park has reacted to the difficulties from the event.  It's making me reconsider going back to that event next year.  I don't want to lose the opportunity to speak to local readers but at the same time, I don't want to subject myself to being the target for anyone's grudge.

But I'm not going to dwell on it.  There is at least six months for things to die down and hopefully the situation will resolve.

Meanwhile, I know there's nothing I can do to change the situation and so I'm going to concentrate on the area I do have control over: my writing and making sure I can produce a quality book and series.

Weekly Update: April 3 to 9

Weekly word count: 5000

At the start of this week, I did not think I was going to be able to make my count.  I was having a lot of trouble with the story's flow.  I knew where I needed to go, but couldn't quite figure out how to encourage my characters to get from where they were to where they needed to be for the next step.  I'd barely done 1500 words by Thursday and I wasn't very happy with what I had.

I realized I needed to take a step back and figure out where I started to go wrong.  I've found that when I have writers' block or a plot crash, it's because I've forgotten to include a thread I'd been planning on using or I've inadvertently blocked off an avenue.  Usually going back a chapter or two and reviewing what I've done is enough to get me back on track.

This time, two chapters wasn't enough.  I went right back to the first chapter and began making chapter by chapter notes on all the subplots I'd set up.  This way, I could have my complete plot tapestry in front of me and figure out where I got off track and, more importantly, how to get myself back on the path.

After going through the first ten chapters, I had my answer.  I'd gotten very caught up in a subplot which is important to the overall series arc and I'd accidentally dropped the romance arc between my hero and heroine.  Once I realized that, the words and ideas started to flow smoothly once again.

I've heard many different opinions on writers' block over the years.  Some authors advocate taking time away from writing until the muse is ready to speak again.  Some tell us to just keep writing through the garbage until we've dug through to the veins of gold waiting underneath.

Personally, I think it's important to try and get to the source of the blockage.  When the words stop flowing, it's a sign that something is wrong.  Figuring out where I've made the mistake has always been the key to breaking through blockage for me.

August 20

I am having a real struggle this week.  Usually I can easily manage my goal of a thousand words per day but here it is Wednesday and I'm barely at 1500 for the week.

When this happens, it's usually because I've hit a plot area which I haven't mapped out well enough.  I know where I want to go and I even know roughly what should be in this area but for some reason, the pieces aren't coming together.

My usual techniques aren't working to loosen the blockage. 

I've tried writing alternate, stand-alone versions of the scenes I need to see if I can come up with good linking material.  No dice, the scenes are stuttering like a flooded engine.

I've tried writing ahead to material I feel more solidly about.  This will usually give me a better idea of what I'm missing, letting me get a better grasp on it.  No luck.  Instead, I feel almost as if I'm writing an entirely different novel.

I'm starting to think I have a flaw in either my characters or the initial third of my plot.  Maybe I've made the conflict between their goals too strong, reducing any realistic chance of them working together.  Or maybe I'm suffering from TMP (too much prologue).  I do have a big reveal coming up in the next chapter.  Maybe I should just forget about trying to put something in the middle.

I'll have to spend some time thinking about it.  Give my brain a chance to rest from churning against the current.  I hate to lose more time this week but better 500 of the right words than 5000 wrong ones.

It helps to write out the problem.  I've always used words to help define the world around me.  And once I have a problem defined, I can tackle it head on rather than grappling with phantasms. 

Meanwhile, to keep myself disciplined, I'll use the time to keep working on the business side of my writing.  Nathalia Suellen let me know that she won't be able to do my cover, so I need to look at some alternatives.  And I need to make sure my tax paperwork is all set with the IRS so that I don't get dinged twice for withheld income tax.  There's plenty to keep me busy.