So, as those who have been following the graphs may have noticed, my first post NaNo week was not quite the same writing success as the previous ones. Although I wrote close to 7000 words, I only made about 3000 words of progress on Judgment.
The challenge was twofold. First, I am writing the climatic ending but as I got started, I realized that the wonderful, dramatic ending I had inside my head from the very beginning was not working out.
That was a confidence collapser. You'd think I'd be used to it because I tend to go through the same thing as I'm finishing up each story. Every author has a Black Moment in the writing process when he or she is convinced that what they've written is absolute crap. For me, that's at the end.
The second part was more personal. I am part of several private groups and one was getting quite heated about something which a member had posted. I know the member and know that she has a tendency to be somewhat socially awkward and doesn't express herself well. So I suggested taking a pause from the increasingly angry posts and asking her to clarify what she meant by the comment. I ended up facing the brunt of the anger and some very vicious attacks on my character, parenting skills and career. Very "if you're not with us then you're against us" kind of mentality.
So here's the thing. I will not ever be a supporter of a lynch mob, be it on line or in person. I believe that people have the right to make mistakes without being attacked. That doesn't mean they don't face consequences for their words or actions, but it does mean that it's important to keep dialogue open and try to keep anger out of it. Maybe I'm overly optimistic, but I don't believe that most people are actively and deliberately evil or hateful, and that given an opportunity to be heard and be educated, then they can learn to improve. Anger is effectively preaching to the choir, its a way to build up reactions in those who already feel much the same as the first person does. Change comes when anger is set aside because that's the only way to convince others to join your point of view.
And before I spark a new wave of outrage, I do believe there is a place for anger. There are things happening in the world which we should be angry about. Anger is the emotional signal that something is wrong, and so we should pay attention to it. But it also shuts down people's ability to listen and listening is critical to solving the problems.
I've quit the group. I'd stayed because I thought of the people on it as my friends, although I'd found it was getting increasingly judgmental instead of helpful. But having gone through that kind of attack, I now know they are not my friends and I don't need that kind of vitriol.
I'm not going into details both to protect the privacy of those involved and because they're really irrelevant. It's possible to be both completely right and justified in one's point of view and also be inappropriate and wrong in how it is expressed.
On the writing side, I think I know why the ending wasn't working and now I've got a clearer picture on how to handle it. It's still going to be a good ending to a good story and contains most of the elements I wanted.
I've got one week left before deadline. Hopefully next week's post is that the draft is done, the editor has been contacted and things are moving forward. Wish me luck.
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