“Aren’t you
a little bit curious?” Chuck asked. “No
one would ever know if I had a look.”
Curled up
in bed with a warm quilt, Bernie ignored her friend’s whispers, watching the
trees outside cast shadows on her bedroom window. It didn’t feel like Christmas without snow
but Mommy said it didn’t snow here, not even in the winter. They had to make an adjustment.
“Come
on. One tiny peek,” Chuck wheedled.
Bernie
rolled over to glare at him. “I told
you, I want it to be a surprise.”
“Okay,
don’t blow your wig.” Chuck wavered, his
body going translucent for a moment before solidifying again. “But what if Shawna got you something stupid
and educational?”
“Mommy
always makes sure I have good presents.
Even when I was in the hospital, she brought me my doll.” Bernie hugged the rag doll close. She didn’t like remembering the hospital,
full of crazy people. It smelled in
there, sweaty and stinky, no matter how much they cleaned the rooms. They were mean, insisting that Chuck was a
figment of her imagination. Now Mommy
and Shawna understood and Bernie didn’t have to take the horrible medicine that
made her head hurt and her tummy want to throw up.
Her bedroom
door opened and Mommy came in. “Hey, Bernie-pie. What are you still doing up?”
“Chuck is
being difficult. He won’t let me sleep.” Bernie sat up in bed.
“I
see.” Her mother sat down on the bed and
ran her cool fingers through Bernie’s tangled hair.
“I’m not
being difficult!” Chuck shouted.
“Are
too!” Bernie shouted back.
“Hey
now. It sounds like you two are having a
fight. What’s wrong?” Mommy tucked Bernie underneath one arm. She was getting too big for cuddles, but it
still felt good sometimes.
“He wants
to look at my presents,” Bernie muttered.
“Chuck,
that doesn’t sound like the sort of thing that friends do.”
Bernie
giggled. Mommy was talking to the empty
air by the dresser instead of to Chuck, who squatted near the window. He was making faces at her, twisting his
mouth with his fingers and sticking out his tongue.
Mommy
looked down at her, frowning. Bernie
abruptly stopped laughing.
“We had a
deal, Chuck. No more telling Bernie to
do bad things and getting her into trouble.”
Mommy lectured the dresser again.
“It’s not
fair. I just wanted to have a look.”
Bernie told
her mother what Chuck had said, adding.
“But he didn’t listen when I said no.”
“I
see. Can you ask Chuck to come here?”
“He can
hear you, Mommy.” Bernie waited until
Chuck moved closer. “He’s beside the
bed, near my pillow.”
This time
Mommy looked in the right direction. “All
right. Here’s what I think is
happening. It’s been a long time since
you had a Christmas, isn’t it, Chuck?”
He nodded
sullenly. He’d been dead for a long
time. Bernie couldn’t quite remember how
long, but he remembered still seeing horses on the street instead of cars.
“I bet you
miss your family at this time of year,” her mother continued.
Chuck
crossed his arms and pouted. Bernie
looked up at her mother. “But his family
was mean to him. They left him all
alone.”
“Even when
family doesn’t understand and even when they hurt us, we still miss them,
Bernie-pie. Our hearts don’t shut off
that easily.” Her mother’s hug wrapped
around her. “But Chuck is forgetting
that he’s not all alone.”
“I’m not?”
“He’s not?”
Mommy
laughed, a light chuckle that Bernie hadn’t heard since she first started
talking to Chuck. “There are the
families we’re born into and then there are the families we find. Chuck is part of our family now. Which is why there’s a special present
waiting downstairs for him to open in the morning.”
“There
is?” Chuck started to flicker as if he
was going to go peek.
“Stay
here. You have to wait until
morning. That’s the family rules,”
Bernie scolded.
“She’s
right, Chuck.” Mommy smiled. “And the other part of the family rules is
taking care of each other. So you need
to let Bernie get a good night’s sleep.”
Chuck went
solid again. “Tell her I will.”
Bernie
passed on the message.
“Thank you,
Chuck. I knew I could count on you.” Mommy smiled again and blew a kiss at
Chuck. He smiled back, his big mouth
stretching even wider.
“Get some
rest so that you’re both ready for Christmas morning.” Mommy tucked Bernie in and gave her a
kiss. “Sweet dreams.”
After Mommy
closed the door, Bernie let her sleepy eyes roll shut.
“Bernie?”
Chuck whispered.
“What?” Bernie yawned.
“Do you
really think I’m family?”
“Of course
you are. You’re like my big
brother. You’re annoying and sometimes
we fight, but I still love you and I’d miss you if you were gone.” Bernie kept her eyes firmly closed and her
hands tucked under the covers.
“I had a
big brother.” Chuck’s voice grew closer
and clearer. He was always easier to
understand when he calmed down. “He
worked at the clip joint down the street.
He used to hum these jazz songs and Ma would get mad, sayin’ it was
disrespectful devil music.”
Slumber
plucked at Bernie with heavy fingers, lulling her mind into quiet.
“They
didn’t wait for me.”
Bernie’s
eyes popped open. Chuck sat at the end
of her bed, staring toward the window.
She sat up. “What?”
He turned
to face her, his eyes dark hollows in his face.
“After the fire, they didn’t wait for me. Ma and Pa moved to San Francisco and Billy
got married with some kids. When they
died, they didn’t come find me.”
She didn’t
know what to say. When the bad people
took her last year, it had been super scary and she’d been all alone. But Mommy and the others had kept looking and
they’d found her. Daddy never tried to find you.
He just left. Even before all
the really bad stuff, he’d left.
“Would you wait
for me?” Chuck asked.
That was a
question she knew the answer to. “Sure. That’s what families do.”
“I knew I
could count on you, Bernie.” He smiled
and patted her shoulder, his hand passing right through and leaving cold
tingles behind. “Your mom’s right. You should sleep. Tomorrow’s gonna be a big day.”
Car lights
flashed across the ceiling and both of them froze. Chuck vanished and Bernie reached down to
grab her backpack beside the bed. Before
she could pick it up, he reappeared.
“Just a cab
dropping off one of the neighbors.”
Her chest
puffed and deflated in a big sigh. Having
to run in the middle of the night sucked.
And if they had to do it tonight, she’d have to leave all of her
Christmas stuff behind. Then there
wouldn’t be presents, or cookies for breakfast.
Shawna wouldn’t sing her French songs and let them sneak butter tarts
before dinner. And Mommy would stop
laughing.
“Hey, don’t
worry there, Bernie. I’ll keep watch and
make sure nobody gets a drop on us.” He
flickered from the bed to the window, staring out past the tree to the street
below.
Bernie
curled up under her covers and stared at him, a thin boy with too short pants
and suspenders. In the moonlight, he
looked as if he were made of glass. She
could see through him but he also caught the light around the edges. He wouldn’t need to sleep or go to the
bathroom. He’d stay there until morning,
making sure they were safe. A big yawn
crawled out between her lips and she closed her eyes, suddenly too exhausted to
do more than whisper. “Thanks, Chuck.”
“Don’t
worry about it, Bernie. It’s what
families do.”
This story takes place between Metamorphosis and Inquisition, but you can enjoy another of Bernie's adventures in Rose on the Grave. Join me for Martha's story in Judgment, coming in 2018. Sign up for my newsletter and you'll be the first to see the new cover and know when Judgment will be released.
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