Weekly word count: 3991
This last week was probably one of the more difficult I've experienced. I don't want to go into details, but I took a lot of emotional hits from different sources. I'm used to being tired and feeling run down, but this was the first time in a long time that I felt the same way I used to during the short run of time at school when I was getting beaten up on a regular basis. Remaining still hurt, trying to move hurt, and every hurt brought back waves of pain and humiliation, as well as a despairing certainty that there was no escape.
I wasn't physically hurt this week, but the emotional toll left very physical aches in its wake.
So I did something I rarely do. I was gentle with myself and gave myself time off, both from my day job and from writing. I allowed myself some time to heal, with the result that when I went to the library for a few hours of writing on Saturday, I wrote over 2500 words.
I wish this was something I didn't need to force myself to remember. It would be so much easier if it was a default: I need a break so that I can get back to being productive faster.
But I still end up feeling guilty. As if feeling bad isn't enough to "earn" a break. In fact, I probably wouldn't have been able to do it if I hadn't been feeling physical pain along with the emotional stuff.
It's something I need to work on. Add it to the list. :)
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