The week leading up to a vacation is always super busy and this was no exception. I managed to write on Monday and Tuesday, but the rest of the week didn't quite happen. Still, with a little luck and perseverance, I should be able to get a really good jump on finishing Division.
I've also been doing some work on educating myself on how to use my newsletter more effectively. And trying not to decide I've failed... because that's usually how I feel after I take these kind of courses. I either can't understand what they're suggesting that I do differently or I feel like an oblivious fool. But it's important to keep learning.
And I saw Avengers:Endgame. Without giving any spoilers, I'm darn impressed with the level of storytelling from the MCU over the last ten years. These are the stories that I love and the kind of stories I want to tell.
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Monday, 29 April 2019
Thursday, 25 April 2019
Hidden Diamond: The 10 Carat Eve Langlais
There are lots of great authors and books out there, so many that it can be hard for readers to find the books that they love to read. So I want to share the gems hidden among the chaos. Each month I'll feature a new Hidden Diamond author.
This month's featured author isn't very hidden but she is definitely a diamond. Not only is Eve Langlais a fantastic author with lots of amazing books across multiple genres but she is also one of the most supportive and wonderful persons that I know. She is my movie buddy (in spite of my tendency to watch through my fingers) and always seems to have a sympathetic ear or shoulder.
She's also got a brilliant sense of humour and a keen insight into a wide variety of characters. That insight comes out in her stories, making them a fun, page-turning read. She showed me the covers for her Chimera Secrets series this summer and I've been eagerly awaiting the release ever since.
I'm very grateful that she took the time out of her busy schedule to answer the Hidden
Diamond author questionnaire.
Or look at last week's blogpost: What does "strong woman" even mean?
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She's also got a brilliant sense of humour and a keen insight into a wide variety of characters. That insight comes out in her stories, making them a fun, page-turning read. She showed me the covers for her Chimera Secrets series this summer and I've been eagerly awaiting the release ever since.
I'm very grateful that she took the time out of her busy schedule to answer the Hidden
What is the craziest thing you've done to research a
book?
My wild and exciting research involves a lot of
Google lol. The most intense I ever had to delve into a
topic involved discussions with a psychiatric nurse with
patient PTSD experience.
What is your writing process?
Pantser and solitary. I
tend to let the story follow the meandering path it
wants, it makes for smoother writing. I work in silence
(or try to lol), with kids it can sometimes get noisy on
their days off school. No music. Just the voices in my
head, although, I do sometimes talk out loud as I'm
creating dialogue, lol.
What is your favourite thing to do to relax?
I do a
few things to relax, reading, of course, television
shows (especially paranormal-ish ones) and Candy Crush!
Who is your favourite fictional crush?
Um, I'm kind
of embarrassed to say I don't have one.
And in the spirit of the great Joss Whedon debate,
who would win: astronauts or cavemen?
Cavemen! Because
they're stronger and meaner with great big clubs (and
maybe a pet sabertooth or two, LOLOL. )
Thank you, Eve, for being a great friend and one of my Hidden Diamonds. For those who want their own copy of Eve's Chimera Secrets books, you can find them here.
Thanks for joining us! Come back next month on May 30th. It's my birthday month and so there will be a double Hidden Diamond feature!
Or take a moment to check out March's Hidden Diamond: RONE award finalist Tamara Hughes!
Or look at last week's blogpost: What does "strong woman" even mean?
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Monday, 22 April 2019
Weekly Update: April 14-20
A better week than last week. I made some progress on Division and regained some of my sense of hope for the future.
There's still a lot of challenges with life in general but it seems less overwhelming than it was.
I'm going to give myself until the end of May to get Division sorted out and then I can concentrate on Book 2 for Special Investigations.
There's still a lot of challenges with life in general but it seems less overwhelming than it was.
I'm going to give myself until the end of May to get Division sorted out and then I can concentrate on Book 2 for Special Investigations.
Thursday, 18 April 2019
What Does "Strong Woman" Even Mean?
Those who follow this blog regularly know that I adore strong female characters in the stories I read and even more in the stories I write. However, a recent Twitter thread (which I unfortunately cannot find now) talked about how they didn't like the term "strong women" because it was one-dimensional about physical strength.
It took me aback because I've always used the term "strong women" to mean female characters who are well-rounded, well-written and integral to the story rather than being used as plot devices to motivate their male counterparts.
Physical strength is cool. I love that my first heroine, Dani, can bend steel with her bare hands. There's something immensely satisfying about a woman who knows that she can not only go toe-to-toe with any man but can dominate him. Women are told so often to be careful, that they have to avoid angering others because they can't defend themselves (and can't expect anyone else to defend them). I enjoyed writing a story about a woman who didn't have to hide or pretend to be less because she knew she could defend herself.
But physical strength isn't the only way to be strong. In Metamorphosis, Lily can turn into a grizzly bear, but that's not what makes her a strong woman. She apologizes to no one for who she is and what she believes in, even when her own family disagrees with her. She's willing to stand on her own to do what is right and insist the rest of the world needs to move.
Metamorph Cali in Inquisition is another example of a different type of strong woman. There is no obstacle that she can't get around, under or through because she never gives up, no matter what the world throws at her. She also has the strength to examine her own beliefs and opinions, recognize when she's made a mistake and take the steps needed to fix it. Even if it costs her everything, she doesn't hesitate to make the necessary sacrifice.
In Judgment, Martha displays yet another different type of strength. The strength that comes when life has hit a person over and over, driving them to the edge of survival. It takes strength to reach that point and stand up to fight one's way back. Fighting against overwhelming odds when it can seem hopeless is one of the most powerful statements of strength a person can make. She may not have any powers, but that doesn't stop her.
Four women, all different, all strong in different ways. And my new heroines, Annika and Katie, will be strong as well, each in her own way.
To me, a strong woman is one with a sense of her own identity, who doesn't hide or make herself less in order to be liked. She doesn't bow down before the world and hope for the best. She takes active steps to shape her own life into the one she wants. It's not a one-dimensional trait. It can be applied in all kinds of ways and it's what makes a heroine inspiring.
Real life doesn't always reward strength. Sometimes it seems to delight in breaking those who dare to be strong. Fiction doesn't always reward strength, either. There are too many stories about strong women who are constantly struggling and fighting, never able to achieve their dreams. Sometimes these fictional women aren't even allowed to complain. They're praised for their acceptance and composure in the face of ongoing tragedy.
This is one of the reasons why I love the romance genre. No matter how bad the situation gets for the heroine, I know her strength will be rewarded and recognized. She will not be put in a position where she must sacrifice her strength for her dreams (or if she is, there will be a way where she gets both). Those are the stories about strong women that I want to read and write.
Previous post: Heroine Fix - Gamora - Fierce but Vulnerable
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It took me aback because I've always used the term "strong women" to mean female characters who are well-rounded, well-written and integral to the story rather than being used as plot devices to motivate their male counterparts.
 |
| More than one? Even better! |
But physical strength isn't the only way to be strong. In Metamorphosis, Lily can turn into a grizzly bear, but that's not what makes her a strong woman. She apologizes to no one for who she is and what she believes in, even when her own family disagrees with her. She's willing to stand on her own to do what is right and insist the rest of the world needs to move.
Metamorph Cali in Inquisition is another example of a different type of strong woman. There is no obstacle that she can't get around, under or through because she never gives up, no matter what the world throws at her. She also has the strength to examine her own beliefs and opinions, recognize when she's made a mistake and take the steps needed to fix it. Even if it costs her everything, she doesn't hesitate to make the necessary sacrifice.
In Judgment, Martha displays yet another different type of strength. The strength that comes when life has hit a person over and over, driving them to the edge of survival. It takes strength to reach that point and stand up to fight one's way back. Fighting against overwhelming odds when it can seem hopeless is one of the most powerful statements of strength a person can make. She may not have any powers, but that doesn't stop her.
Four women, all different, all strong in different ways. And my new heroines, Annika and Katie, will be strong as well, each in her own way.
To me, a strong woman is one with a sense of her own identity, who doesn't hide or make herself less in order to be liked. She doesn't bow down before the world and hope for the best. She takes active steps to shape her own life into the one she wants. It's not a one-dimensional trait. It can be applied in all kinds of ways and it's what makes a heroine inspiring.
Real life doesn't always reward strength. Sometimes it seems to delight in breaking those who dare to be strong. Fiction doesn't always reward strength, either. There are too many stories about strong women who are constantly struggling and fighting, never able to achieve their dreams. Sometimes these fictional women aren't even allowed to complain. They're praised for their acceptance and composure in the face of ongoing tragedy.
This is one of the reasons why I love the romance genre. No matter how bad the situation gets for the heroine, I know her strength will be rewarded and recognized. She will not be put in a position where she must sacrifice her strength for her dreams (or if she is, there will be a way where she gets both). Those are the stories about strong women that I want to read and write.
Previous post: Heroine Fix - Gamora - Fierce but Vulnerable
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Sunday, 14 April 2019
Weekly Update: April 7 to 13
This week, no writing done. My day job blew up in my face and needed extra hours.
There's been a very interesting (though somewhat discouraging) conversation going on on the Published Author Network chatloop for RWA. Authors are being honest about the difficulties they're having making a living from their writing. People with 10, 20, 30 books and over a decade of experience with traditional publishers, small press and indie publishing are sharing that their income doesn't exceed their expenses, let alone give them enough income to let them support themselves.
A number of authors are going back to day jobs, or quitting writing altogether.
No one agrees on what the causes are, people are buying fewer books overall, a glut of free or cheap low quality books, problems with scammers taking over popular platforms, a combination of all or something unknown.
It's been hard to hear as well as providing some comfort to know that far more experienced authors are in the same boat that I am. But it means there will be some hard choices on the horizon for me. I may have to concentrate on the small press contracts that I've received in order to build up readership and then come back to my independent series later. But I really want to finish Division and get it out there.
No decisions yet. But even if I do end up having to delay book 6, it doesn't mean indefinitely. Meanwhile, I am very excited about the book I'm releasing for Soul Mate and can't wait to share that one with all of you.
There's been a very interesting (though somewhat discouraging) conversation going on on the Published Author Network chatloop for RWA. Authors are being honest about the difficulties they're having making a living from their writing. People with 10, 20, 30 books and over a decade of experience with traditional publishers, small press and indie publishing are sharing that their income doesn't exceed their expenses, let alone give them enough income to let them support themselves.
A number of authors are going back to day jobs, or quitting writing altogether.
No one agrees on what the causes are, people are buying fewer books overall, a glut of free or cheap low quality books, problems with scammers taking over popular platforms, a combination of all or something unknown.
It's been hard to hear as well as providing some comfort to know that far more experienced authors are in the same boat that I am. But it means there will be some hard choices on the horizon for me. I may have to concentrate on the small press contracts that I've received in order to build up readership and then come back to my independent series later. But I really want to finish Division and get it out there.
No decisions yet. But even if I do end up having to delay book 6, it doesn't mean indefinitely. Meanwhile, I am very excited about the book I'm releasing for Soul Mate and can't wait to share that one with all of you.
Thursday, 11 April 2019
Heroine Fix: Gamora - Fierce But Vulnerable
I'm addicted to strong and intriguing characters. Heroine Fix is a monthly feature examining female characters that I admire and who influence my own writing. Warning: this post will contain spoilers.
In a few weeks, ten years of Marvel movies will culminate in Avengers: Endgame. As a comics fan, watching so many amazing characters and stories interweave and unfold has been wonderful. One of my favourite parts has been being introduced to characters I didn't know before. I'd never even heard of Guardians of the Galaxy before the film was announced (although I do recall one friend scornfully talking about a raccoon and talking tree combo) but I adored the film when I saw it, particularly its green-skinned lead, Gamora, played by Zoe Saldana.
Marvel has many strong kickass heroines (one of many reasons why I love them). Gamora falls into the brooding, damaged protagonist character (another of my favourites), one who is seeking redemption but doesn't expect to achieve it. There are several key moments for her character arc.
In the first Guardians, Gamora is captured and imprisoned among hardened criminals, many of whom are enemies of her putative father, Thanos. They see her arrival as an opportunity to strike back at him. We know that Gamora hates Thanos and is actively working against him. We know that Thanos killed her family and took her from her home planet, raising her as a weapon to do his bidding. But Gamora doesn't beg for mercy or sympathy. She walks defiantly in front of those desperate to tear her down and neither flinches nor retreats. As someone who was bullied, her refusal to bow caught my attention.
In the second Guardians of the Galaxy, Gamora's story takes second place to Quill's but the development of the relationship between Gamora and her sister, Nebula, is one of the more poignant examples of female bonding that I've seen the Marvel films. Both Gamora and Nebula were stolen by Thanos, who then pitted them against one another in contests of strength and skill. Gamora won those contests, driven by fear of Thanos and the consequences of failure. Every time Nebula lost, Thanos replaced a piece of her with a cybernetic part, and now she's almost entirely robotic. Nebula spends most of the film trying to kill Gamora, accusing her of being selfish for always winning and ensuring Nebula was the one to go under the knife. The moment when Nebula looks up at Gamora and says "All I wanted was a sister" still makes my breath catch. In that moment, Gamora does what few heroes have the strength to do, she recognizes that her perception of events wasn't the only one and that Nebula's is just as valid as her own. The two of them realize that fighting each other only gives the advantage to their true enemy: Thanos.
I would very much love to see a story featuring Gamora and covering the time between Guardians: Volume Two and Avengers: Infinity War because there's a lot of off-screen character growth. She and Nebula have obviously been working together, she and Quill have begun a romantic relationship, and most importantly, she's much more centered than the previous films. In the two Guardians films, she's reserved, holding back. Initially, she doesn't believe she deserves happiness and at some point in the interval, she decides to take a chance.
That makes the events of Infinity War even more difficult to watch. She begs Quill to kill her rather than allow her to fall into Thanos's hands again. Saldana's half-choked "You promised!" will tug the heart strings of anyone who still has a heart. But to me, the true apex of her character arc is the moment when she believes she's killed Thanos. She hates him. He ruined her life, killed her family, and forced her into a daily game of survival and torture. And yet, as she watches him die, she crumples into a ball, overcome with emotional agony.
A male hero would likely be celebrating. He's saved the world! Destroyed his oppressor! But Gamora is grieving. Thanos may have been a horrible father but he's the only one that she knows. Often we forget that people who are abused may still truly love the one who abused them (which is one of the crueler facets of abuse). And that even when they recognize the abuse, they can still feel love even as they do whatever is necessary to stop their abuser. I would have loved if there had been more time to explore this part of her arc, but even though it is a brief exchange, her tears say it all. (And for the record, this is also a reason why I have a problem with Thanos sacrificing her as someone that he loves, because while abusers may encourage love in their victims, they themselves do not love them because I believe it is impossible to truly love someone and deliberately harm them.)
I don't know what will happen with Gamora's character in Endgame but I can't wait to find out. Too often, writers won't allow strong characters to have their moments of vulnerability, particularly if that character is a heroine. But strength isn't only defined by refusing to bend, it's also defined by doing what is necessary even when that action tears your heart in two.
(Keep on reading for more information on next month's Heroine Fix and a special offer on my own books.)
If you'd like to read about my own damaged, brooding heroine, Dani, you can pick up Revelations for less than the price of a cup of coffee. Get started with the first book in my fast-paced paranormal romantic suspense series about a secret society of superheroes living among us.
If you'd like something shorter and spookier, there are my Spirit Sight short stories, releasing between April 30th and May 14th. Pre-order them individually or grab them all at once in the collection.
Or if you'd rather just poke around the blog, there's plenty to keep you entertained, like last month's Heroine Fix about Burlesque's trip through the mirror with Tess and Ali. Or you can read last month's post about ways we can all step back from being part of the problem with racism in today's world.
Or you can find other books to read with my Hidden Diamonds, featuring my fellow romance authors who write strong women, exciting adventures or paranormal thrills. This month is Tamara Hughes Bewitching The Beast.
Next month, I'll be sharing my admiration of another strong warrior woman, Zoe from Firefly and Serenity. Join me on May 9th for your next Heroine Fix.
In a few weeks, ten years of Marvel movies will culminate in Avengers: Endgame. As a comics fan, watching so many amazing characters and stories interweave and unfold has been wonderful. One of my favourite parts has been being introduced to characters I didn't know before. I'd never even heard of Guardians of the Galaxy before the film was announced (although I do recall one friend scornfully talking about a raccoon and talking tree combo) but I adored the film when I saw it, particularly its green-skinned lead, Gamora, played by Zoe Saldana.
Marvel has many strong kickass heroines (one of many reasons why I love them). Gamora falls into the brooding, damaged protagonist character (another of my favourites), one who is seeking redemption but doesn't expect to achieve it. There are several key moments for her character arc.
In the first Guardians, Gamora is captured and imprisoned among hardened criminals, many of whom are enemies of her putative father, Thanos. They see her arrival as an opportunity to strike back at him. We know that Gamora hates Thanos and is actively working against him. We know that Thanos killed her family and took her from her home planet, raising her as a weapon to do his bidding. But Gamora doesn't beg for mercy or sympathy. She walks defiantly in front of those desperate to tear her down and neither flinches nor retreats. As someone who was bullied, her refusal to bow caught my attention.
I would very much love to see a story featuring Gamora and covering the time between Guardians: Volume Two and Avengers: Infinity War because there's a lot of off-screen character growth. She and Nebula have obviously been working together, she and Quill have begun a romantic relationship, and most importantly, she's much more centered than the previous films. In the two Guardians films, she's reserved, holding back. Initially, she doesn't believe she deserves happiness and at some point in the interval, she decides to take a chance.
That makes the events of Infinity War even more difficult to watch. She begs Quill to kill her rather than allow her to fall into Thanos's hands again. Saldana's half-choked "You promised!" will tug the heart strings of anyone who still has a heart. But to me, the true apex of her character arc is the moment when she believes she's killed Thanos. She hates him. He ruined her life, killed her family, and forced her into a daily game of survival and torture. And yet, as she watches him die, she crumples into a ball, overcome with emotional agony.
A male hero would likely be celebrating. He's saved the world! Destroyed his oppressor! But Gamora is grieving. Thanos may have been a horrible father but he's the only one that she knows. Often we forget that people who are abused may still truly love the one who abused them (which is one of the crueler facets of abuse). And that even when they recognize the abuse, they can still feel love even as they do whatever is necessary to stop their abuser. I would have loved if there had been more time to explore this part of her arc, but even though it is a brief exchange, her tears say it all. (And for the record, this is also a reason why I have a problem with Thanos sacrificing her as someone that he loves, because while abusers may encourage love in their victims, they themselves do not love them because I believe it is impossible to truly love someone and deliberately harm them.)
I don't know what will happen with Gamora's character in Endgame but I can't wait to find out. Too often, writers won't allow strong characters to have their moments of vulnerability, particularly if that character is a heroine. But strength isn't only defined by refusing to bend, it's also defined by doing what is necessary even when that action tears your heart in two.
(Keep on reading for more information on next month's Heroine Fix and a special offer on my own books.)
If you'd like to read about my own damaged, brooding heroine, Dani, you can pick up Revelations for less than the price of a cup of coffee. Get started with the first book in my fast-paced paranormal romantic suspense series about a secret society of superheroes living among us.
If you'd like something shorter and spookier, there are my Spirit Sight short stories, releasing between April 30th and May 14th. Pre-order them individually or grab them all at once in the collection.
Or if you'd rather just poke around the blog, there's plenty to keep you entertained, like last month's Heroine Fix about Burlesque's trip through the mirror with Tess and Ali. Or you can read last month's post about ways we can all step back from being part of the problem with racism in today's world.
Or you can find other books to read with my Hidden Diamonds, featuring my fellow romance authors who write strong women, exciting adventures or paranormal thrills. This month is Tamara Hughes Bewitching The Beast.
Next month, I'll be sharing my admiration of another strong warrior woman, Zoe from Firefly and Serenity. Join me on May 9th for your next Heroine Fix.
Monday, 8 April 2019
Weekly Update: March 31 to April 6
I've been working on Division this week but also allowing myself a bit of recharge from the frantic pace of trying to both edit and write for a month.
I can also (and with much gratitude) say that I think I've finally gotten the PDF situation for Spirit Sight sorted out. Many thank yous to my friend who saved me from having to buy a $250 US program, plus pay to run a Mac simulator.
I still want to have my books in Ingram but I'm now understanding why some authors don't. It's a lot of work and the platform isn't very flexible. Initially, I thought having my books on Ingram would be a savings (since they don't charge the same customs and shipping fees that Createspace did) but if I have to spend this much time and money to create each PDF, I'm going to have to do some serious thinking about the cost effectiveness.
(It's a moot situation right now, since Ingram won't accept any of the lalassu books because Amazon still has them on extended distribution.)
Hopefully once this initial fuss is over, things will flow more smoothly with Ingram. Because I'd much rather be concentrating on creating new stories than wrestling with PDF formatting.
I can also (and with much gratitude) say that I think I've finally gotten the PDF situation for Spirit Sight sorted out. Many thank yous to my friend who saved me from having to buy a $250 US program, plus pay to run a Mac simulator.
I still want to have my books in Ingram but I'm now understanding why some authors don't. It's a lot of work and the platform isn't very flexible. Initially, I thought having my books on Ingram would be a savings (since they don't charge the same customs and shipping fees that Createspace did) but if I have to spend this much time and money to create each PDF, I'm going to have to do some serious thinking about the cost effectiveness.
(It's a moot situation right now, since Ingram won't accept any of the lalassu books because Amazon still has them on extended distribution.)
Hopefully once this initial fuss is over, things will flow more smoothly with Ingram. Because I'd much rather be concentrating on creating new stories than wrestling with PDF formatting.
Thursday, 4 April 2019
Stepping Away From Being Part of the Problem
There have been a lot of tough discussions over the last few weeks about racism and unconscious bias and the roles they play in our every day lives. It was prompted by this year's RITA finalists (RITAs are basically the Oscars for romance novels) because once again, the list is almost uniformly white authors. (There are other issues of discrimination at play as well, but for this post, I'm going to focus on race.)
It's not easy to talk about racism. When I was a kid, I remember people talking about racism as if it had been eliminated, like measles and polio (both of which are once again destroying lives, but that's another post). There was an emphasis on moving beyond defining people by skin colour and that would ensure everyone had the same opportunities.
It was a lovely idea, but it was unfortunately wrong. Because even if a person isn't stereotypically racist (using slurs, physically or verbally attacking, refusing to serve, etc.), they can still be implicitly racist due to unconscious bias (non-Anglo names getting fewer callbacks for job interviews, interpreting expressions as angier/more threatening if the person is black, assuming that a black person did something wrong to prompt a police shooting/arrest/search, etc.)
There are still plenty of people who don't accept unconscious bias and believe it doesn't play a role in people's lives. They believe that life is inherently fair and equitable and anyone who isn't achieving the desired results simply isn't trying hard enough. It's a tempting worldview, because the idea that people can genuinely try their best and not succeed due to their skin colour is horrible. (The experience of it is even worse, just for the record).
Maybe I'm too much of an optimist, but I truly believe that most people don't want to hurt others and want the world to be a more fair and equitable place. Yet there seems to be a real disconnect in listening to the experiences of people of colour and accepting those experiences as valid.
I'm not a person of colour. Which means I'm not subjected to daily microaggressions on the basis of my skin colour. Which means that some people are more likely to listen to me than to an actual person of colour (though I highly encourage those who are concerned about the such matters and who want to help to seek out the voices of people of colour and listen to them). So I thought I'd share some of the reactions which may seem harmless or even helpful, but which actually play into unconscious bias. I'm hopeful that people reading this will catch themselves before making such a reaction.
You misinterpreted (insert action/event/results here)
Who wouldn't want to know that the situation isn't as bad as they feared? The problem wasn't racism, it was a misunderstanding and now everyone can feel better.
Here's the problem with that approach. With unconscious bias the person acting on that bias usually has another conscious reason for their actions: I was tired, I was feeling edgy that day, I wasn't comfortable with that specific person/incident/event. So there's always a bunch of ready-made excuses that aren't racism.
Any particular incident can usually be explained away by alternate causes. It's in the statistical data that unconscious bias becomes overwhelmingly obvious.
It's important to remember that those subjected to these biases face such incidents in every aspect of their lives. It's everywhere and there's nowhere to go to escape it. Yet when they bring up an example, it's dismissed.
What "you misinterpreted" boils down to is telling people that their experience isn't valid, that they have overreacted, that they are at fault for trying to fight back against something that causes them pain.
I don't see colour.
I think this one is a bit of generational marker. It's based in the idea that by refusing to acknowledge skin colour, a person will end up judging only by merit or by individual.
Except that refusing to acknowledge skin colour ends up erasing a significant part of people's experience. I personally struggle with this one. I don't like describing skin tone or referring to someone by skin colour. However, I'm working on it because it prevents me from working on my own unconscious biases. Taken to an extreme, refusing to acknowledge skin colour puts the person in the position of saying "I know better than you" to people of colour, which is extraordinarily dismissive.
I'm not like that.
On the surface, this can seem like a vote of support. Bad things are happening but this person is not one of the people doing them. They don't support racism and aren't one of the bad guys. Surely those suffering from racism will be happy to see they don't have to worry about this particular individual.
However, it's not quite that simple. On a very basic level, it derails the conversation into being about the person protesting they aren't a racist instead of focusing on the experience of those targeted by racism.
There's also a tendency to either/or thinking. If person X isn't a racist, then the things they do must not be racist. We all like to believe we're good people who treat others fairly, but if we insist our actions are therefore above reproach, we can't learn to do better. And the only way to maintain this insistence is to tell those who have actually been harmed that they are wrong and that they haven't been hurt.
Don't be angry, be nice.
This one is another tricky one. There's a grain of truth in it because it is true that when people are directly faced with anger, their ability to retain new information shuts down. However, seeing others' anger is a more effective way of bringing awareness to an unjust situation than calm discussion of that same situation. Humans remember things better when their emotions have been brought into play.
This is one of the big areas where people can step up as allies of those affected. We often have the opportunity to discuss and educate without anger, because we're not the ones being directly affected by racism.
But it's also really important not to tone police when people are hurt. (For those not familiar with the expression, it refers to invalidating someone's statement because you don't like how it was said while ignoring the actual content.) This technique is often used by explicit racists to derail conversations and discredit those bringing attention to the issues, which is why its such a sensitive topic.
Here's my take: if a person truly cares about not causing harm to others, then the onus is on them to look past the speaker's anger and focus on the message.
Separate but equal.
Sadly, this is one that pops up whenever there is complaint about systemic racism. Teachers are treating black and white students differently, get two different school systems. Authors of colour aren't winning the award, create a diversity category.
This solution assumes that people of colour are incapable of competing with white people in a fair competition. And that is in and of itself an implicit bias.
And even if the intention is good, it does nothing to address the implicit bias that is the real issue. The concept of separate but equal has been disproven for decades and it causes immense harm because at its root, it says that we don't want to associate with you, we don't want you to be part of our organization or community.
A lot of this boils down to a very simple set of conditions:
Does a person believe that systemic racism (both conscious and unconscious) is a fact of modern life?
Do they want to change the impact of systemic racism?
If the answer to both of those questions is yes, then listening is the first and most critical step. It's not easy and it's a hit to the ego when we recognize ourselves as part of the problem, but it's the only way to make the change.
It's not easy to talk about racism. When I was a kid, I remember people talking about racism as if it had been eliminated, like measles and polio (both of which are once again destroying lives, but that's another post). There was an emphasis on moving beyond defining people by skin colour and that would ensure everyone had the same opportunities.
It was a lovely idea, but it was unfortunately wrong. Because even if a person isn't stereotypically racist (using slurs, physically or verbally attacking, refusing to serve, etc.), they can still be implicitly racist due to unconscious bias (non-Anglo names getting fewer callbacks for job interviews, interpreting expressions as angier/more threatening if the person is black, assuming that a black person did something wrong to prompt a police shooting/arrest/search, etc.)
There are still plenty of people who don't accept unconscious bias and believe it doesn't play a role in people's lives. They believe that life is inherently fair and equitable and anyone who isn't achieving the desired results simply isn't trying hard enough. It's a tempting worldview, because the idea that people can genuinely try their best and not succeed due to their skin colour is horrible. (The experience of it is even worse, just for the record).
Maybe I'm too much of an optimist, but I truly believe that most people don't want to hurt others and want the world to be a more fair and equitable place. Yet there seems to be a real disconnect in listening to the experiences of people of colour and accepting those experiences as valid.
I'm not a person of colour. Which means I'm not subjected to daily microaggressions on the basis of my skin colour. Which means that some people are more likely to listen to me than to an actual person of colour (though I highly encourage those who are concerned about the such matters and who want to help to seek out the voices of people of colour and listen to them). So I thought I'd share some of the reactions which may seem harmless or even helpful, but which actually play into unconscious bias. I'm hopeful that people reading this will catch themselves before making such a reaction.
You misinterpreted (insert action/event/results here)
Who wouldn't want to know that the situation isn't as bad as they feared? The problem wasn't racism, it was a misunderstanding and now everyone can feel better.
Here's the problem with that approach. With unconscious bias the person acting on that bias usually has another conscious reason for their actions: I was tired, I was feeling edgy that day, I wasn't comfortable with that specific person/incident/event. So there's always a bunch of ready-made excuses that aren't racism.
Any particular incident can usually be explained away by alternate causes. It's in the statistical data that unconscious bias becomes overwhelmingly obvious.
It's important to remember that those subjected to these biases face such incidents in every aspect of their lives. It's everywhere and there's nowhere to go to escape it. Yet when they bring up an example, it's dismissed.
What "you misinterpreted" boils down to is telling people that their experience isn't valid, that they have overreacted, that they are at fault for trying to fight back against something that causes them pain.
I don't see colour.
I think this one is a bit of generational marker. It's based in the idea that by refusing to acknowledge skin colour, a person will end up judging only by merit or by individual.
Except that refusing to acknowledge skin colour ends up erasing a significant part of people's experience. I personally struggle with this one. I don't like describing skin tone or referring to someone by skin colour. However, I'm working on it because it prevents me from working on my own unconscious biases. Taken to an extreme, refusing to acknowledge skin colour puts the person in the position of saying "I know better than you" to people of colour, which is extraordinarily dismissive.
I'm not like that.
On the surface, this can seem like a vote of support. Bad things are happening but this person is not one of the people doing them. They don't support racism and aren't one of the bad guys. Surely those suffering from racism will be happy to see they don't have to worry about this particular individual.
However, it's not quite that simple. On a very basic level, it derails the conversation into being about the person protesting they aren't a racist instead of focusing on the experience of those targeted by racism.
There's also a tendency to either/or thinking. If person X isn't a racist, then the things they do must not be racist. We all like to believe we're good people who treat others fairly, but if we insist our actions are therefore above reproach, we can't learn to do better. And the only way to maintain this insistence is to tell those who have actually been harmed that they are wrong and that they haven't been hurt.
Don't be angry, be nice.
This one is another tricky one. There's a grain of truth in it because it is true that when people are directly faced with anger, their ability to retain new information shuts down. However, seeing others' anger is a more effective way of bringing awareness to an unjust situation than calm discussion of that same situation. Humans remember things better when their emotions have been brought into play.
This is one of the big areas where people can step up as allies of those affected. We often have the opportunity to discuss and educate without anger, because we're not the ones being directly affected by racism.
But it's also really important not to tone police when people are hurt. (For those not familiar with the expression, it refers to invalidating someone's statement because you don't like how it was said while ignoring the actual content.) This technique is often used by explicit racists to derail conversations and discredit those bringing attention to the issues, which is why its such a sensitive topic.
Here's my take: if a person truly cares about not causing harm to others, then the onus is on them to look past the speaker's anger and focus on the message.
Separate but equal.
Sadly, this is one that pops up whenever there is complaint about systemic racism. Teachers are treating black and white students differently, get two different school systems. Authors of colour aren't winning the award, create a diversity category.
This solution assumes that people of colour are incapable of competing with white people in a fair competition. And that is in and of itself an implicit bias.
And even if the intention is good, it does nothing to address the implicit bias that is the real issue. The concept of separate but equal has been disproven for decades and it causes immense harm because at its root, it says that we don't want to associate with you, we don't want you to be part of our organization or community.
A lot of this boils down to a very simple set of conditions:
Does a person believe that systemic racism (both conscious and unconscious) is a fact of modern life?
Do they want to change the impact of systemic racism?
If the answer to both of those questions is yes, then listening is the first and most critical step. It's not easy and it's a hit to the ego when we recognize ourselves as part of the problem, but it's the only way to make the change.
Monday, 1 April 2019
Weekly Update: March 24-30
I had a good week. I got my edits done for Soul Mate, which means I can go back to concentrating on Division for the next little bit.
I participated in No Spend Week, a week of protest against the Ontario government's spending cuts. I'm appalled by how many programs are being slashed and how many people are being left vulnerable.
I've been caught up in discussions about racism and how it has impacted the RITA, which isn't a pleasant topic but one that needed to be brought to light. It's been a process of recognizing the subtle and not so subtle ways that prejudice creeps into everyday life and trying not to add to it.
I participated in No Spend Week, a week of protest against the Ontario government's spending cuts. I'm appalled by how many programs are being slashed and how many people are being left vulnerable.
I've been caught up in discussions about racism and how it has impacted the RITA, which isn't a pleasant topic but one that needed to be brought to light. It's been a process of recognizing the subtle and not so subtle ways that prejudice creeps into everyday life and trying not to add to it.
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