I've been averaging completing a chapter a day for the last two weeks. If I can keep that up, the manuscript will be ready before RWA.
I'm nervous about the whole idea of pitching to the traditional publishers. My work doesn't fit neatly in a box (though I've made an effort to make sure that Deadly Potential has less bleed over than usual) and the media is full of doom and gloom reports about how the publishing industry is in trouble. There's also the typical self-doubt: I'll be asking someone to judge something that has taken almost a year of my life in the course of a 3 minute conversation. That's nerve-wracking no matter how you slice it.
I've been struggling some this week after the Ontario election results. It is disheartening to see someone elected who is so antithetical to what I believe is important. There's also been a challenge with the high-profile suicides and my own struggles with depression. Some of the discussions have been really hard to see playing out. It's hard not to despair when it happens to people who seem to have every advantage and if they can't do it, then what chance does anyone else have? (My intention isn't to dismiss their pain, which must have been overwhelming, but to recognize how difficult and chronic depression is.) There's also the usual messages of anger and attack against those who are suffering from depression, which is hard to see.
But it's also life and part of my self-care is reminding myself that I can only do the parts that I can. And it is perfectly okay to take time to create something beautiful. Maybe it's not "serious" work, but even tiny bits of beauty, joy, and hope are necessary to keep us going, especially in difficult times.
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