Weekly Update: May 19-25

Life is slowly falling back into a predictable pattern, with four and half more weeks to go until the summer schedule starts and it all falls apart again.

Because that's how life works.  It's always going to be full of changes and challenges, which is why its important to build time for it into the plan.

Last year, I managed some really high weekly word counts, up above 8k a week.  I did it partly by taking a pay cut to finish earlier with my day job and partly by working on weekends.  By pushing myself hard for two months, I was able to complete the first draft of Deadly Potential before RWA last July.

Since then, I have struggled to make my 5k goal most weeks.  Two months of boosted productivity vs a year of lowered productivity.  That's not a great trade off.  I still think it was necessary because I needed a completed manuscript to pitch, but I wish I knew how to get back into decent weekly word counts without feeling completely drained and exhausted.

There are other complications (because there always are).  The last year has been one of the most difficult years of my life, personally, professionally, and parenting.  I've struggled with severe depression, external challenges, and a system which seems determined to crush me and my kids.

It's all interlinked.  Overwork makes it harder to maintain emotional equilibrium, which can start the spiral into depression.  External challenges cut into both the day job and writing time, making it harder to make ends meet financially or make my word counts, adding to the pressure to push beyond my limits.

But I think the most important takeaway is that I haven't given up.  I'm listening to myself and putting my own needs on the priority shelf so that I don't burn out completely.  My word counts might be small, but they're still accumulating toward a finished novel.

There's never going to be a point where my life is "easy" so I can't put things on hold for a day which will never come.  I also have to recognize the impact of a difficult life on the things I want to do and the things I need to do.