Reclaiming My HEA is a regular feature where I share what's been going on with my separation and divorce.
It's been a challenging month. I'm finding myself worn out and struggling to keep up with things. Which is not particularly surprising since I tend to work pretty solidly starting at six a.m. and going until after ten p.m.
6-7, I'm doing household or business paperwork.
7-9, get the kids ready for school (or weekend activities).
9-2:30 is my day job.
2:30 to 3:30 is my writing time.
3:30 to 4, kids get home from school and I get them started on homework.
4 to 4:30, walk the dog.
4:30 to 5:30, editing (if everything is going smoothly and I'm not dealing with Bromaggeddon).
5:30 to 6, make dinner.
6 to 6:30, family dinner.
6:30 to 8, making sure the kids have done what they need to do for the next day and getting them started on bedtime.
8 to collapse, more editing. Weekends, more editing and doing my social media and blog prep.
I'm the one who manages everything, who keeps track of appointments, makes sure we don't run out of toilet paper, and deals with all the other stuff that needs to happen to keep things running smoothly. It's a lot of work and frankly, it hasn't been going very smoothly of late.
This week, I read an interesting article talking about how writers don't talk about the fact that the industry depends on authors having outside financial support. (Not strictly connected, but there's also an awesome thread by Tessa Sharpe about the finances of publishing.)
The author of the article, Ann Bauer, talks about how she couldn't write in her first marriage because she was dealing with all of the responsibilities of the household, parenting, and earning an income. Then she met her second husband and for the first time, had "a true partner."
Those three words stopped me dead in my reading. Because I find that I can't imagine what that would be like. I can imagine how a shapeshifting werebear would work, but I can't imagine having someone I could trust to help me with errands and responsibilities.
That's a pretty sad realization to come to.
The idea of going into the dating world is terrifying. It wasn't particularly fun when I did it over twenty years ago. Doing it now... not really something that I see going well.
But that's my fear talking and if decades of reading romance have taught me anything, it's that I need to listen to my hope as much as my fear.
So I'm going to take a lesson from my hopes and believe that it is possible for me to find an HEA. Which means I will need to take some risks. And I am strong enough to do that.
Previous Reclaiming My HEA: Two Steps Forward, One Step Back
Previous post: Hidden Diamond: Mary Ann Marlowe's A Crazy Kind of Love
Blog homepage
No comments:
Post a Comment